For over 2 years, Matt and I have been trying have a baby. About the time we started looking for a house, we gave up birth control and took the plunge. He was almost done with school, and we were both ready. We tried, and every month, we "failed". I tried not to get upset, I tried to just roll with it, but as the months came and went, I got discouraged. Each month, my sadness grew, each month more of our friends announced their great news that they were expecting. Some announced they were expecting a second time, it was heartbreaking. After 15 months of failing, I finally went to the doctor. They ran tests, blood work, and finally told me that I wasn't ovulating on my own. The diagnosis, Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. I started Clomid. We poured our hearts out to God and prayed that it would work. Again, we failed. After 3 months of trying, they sent me to a Reproductive Endocrinologist. He was optimistic, we tired again, adding in another medication. Again, no baby.
And so the fun began. We began doing daily hormone injections, followed by Dr visit every 3 days, and finally IUI. The Dr and Nurses were astounded at how quickly I responded to treatment. Things were looking up! I was so hopeful! We waited the 2 weeks, went in for a pregnancy test, Again we were disappointed. I was so upset. I kept telling God that I didn't understand. If He didn't want us to be parents, then why wouldn't He take that desire away? We prayed, we cried, we moved on and tried again. All the while, I felt like a failure.
We started doing the daily injections again. For a girl who HATES needles, this was a real test! This time, the process took much longer. So long in fact I began to just think maybe God was just telling us to stop. We stuck with it and kept going.
On May 12, our 3 year anniversary, we were just heading to bed when our house was hit by a tornado. Our cars were totaled, our house was severely damaged, but Matt and I were untouched. God's plan started to become so much more clear. I couldn't imagine going through that with a baby! How horrible that would have been.
We moved to a hotel and eventually to a temporary apartment while they are fixing our house... all the while still doing daily injections and going to the Dr every 3 days. I was exhausted. On May 26th, I was finally ready for my second IUI. Matt and I prayed while we were waiting for God's will to be done, just like we had every month. We waited the 2 weeks... which seemed to fly by with everything else that was going on.
I was sure failure was inevitable this month, just like it had been for the past 24 months. We went in on June 9, for blood work. Matt came with me to work that day. I was dreading the phone call telling me that again this month we had failed. Matt went out to pick up lunch for us, I put the kids to bed, and my phone rang. I answered. It was Jane, one of my favorite nurses. She said, "You know, sometimes good things follow all of the bad, Congratulations, you are pregnant!"
My knees felt weak, my heart started pounding, I could hardly stand I was shaking so badly. I sat down and cried, I praised the Lord for our baby! Such a precious little life growing inside me. I could hardly wait for Matt to get back so I could tell him. When he walked in the door, I gave him a big hug and said, "Hi daddy!". He cried, he was so excited! The joy we felt was unexplainable! We called a few friends and family who knew we were trying, and smiled the rest of the day.
It still amazes me how one moment can change it all......
