2 Weeks....

My sweet Samuel,

It has already been 2 weeks since you slipped away from us. Life continues to move on when sometimes your daddy and I just wish time could stand still. Our arms are still empty, and our hearts are still broken, but you will never understand that. You will never have to experience sadness or a broken heart. You will never feel pain. These are the things that keep us going. You are safe with the creator of the universe. Our sadness is at times overwhelming, but we know that we are only sad for selfish reasons.

My sweet boy, I'm trying so hard to get rid of my selfishness and be happy that you are safe and I'll see you someday, but it is so hard. Even though I never even got to meet you, I miss you every minute. I love you my son. I can't wait for the day we will be together again.

All My Love,

Your Momma

Sweet Samuel Boy,

Will this ache in my heart ever go away? I think of you all the time, wondering what you are doing in heaven. Are you shy? Do you love to be around people? Is your sweet belly ticklish? What makes you giggle? Oh my sweet boy, you momma aches for you every minute. My heart hurts knowing you are not growing inside me any more. Oh Samuel, I hope you know how much your mommy and daddy love you and miss you. There hasn’t been a day we haven’t cried since we lost you.

I love seeing your name every day on your Daddy’s shoulder. It brings me such comfort and peace. I love to touch it and think of you and I love to kiss it too.

I promise you that we will never forget you my sweet boy. Our hearts will never be the same.

All my Love,

Your Momma

My Darling Samuel,

My heart is so heavy tonight. I miss you more than words will ever be able to tell you. I hate feeling so empty inside. My darling, Momma was getting so used to talking to you and touching my belly where you were so safely tucked away. It is so hard to remember that you aren’t safe inside me anymore. I’m so glad you are safe with Jesus, but that doesn’t make it easier not to have you here. Oh my sweet boy, it was so hard to be in church today. Every song made your momma cry. My arms ache to hold you, to touch your sweet little nose and kiss your sweet silky cheeks. I wonder what you look like, do you have your daddy’s beautiful eyes? Do you have his curls? Do you make sweet sounds while you are sleeping? As your momma I feel like I’ve missed out on so much. I know you are so content sitting with our precious Savior, but I miss you terribly.

Oh Samuel, My heart is broken. Your Daddy and I prayed from the beginning that we would raise you to Love Jesus. That we would dedicate you to God and we prayed for God to do His will in your life. We really truly meant those prayers when we prayed them. We know that God’s plan is best, yet we still ache for you. I don’t think that our sadness will ever go away completely. You are and will always be our precious first baby.

Your Daddy got you name tattooed on his shoulder on Friday. It is so special to see your name there, the place momma kisses each night before we fall asleep. It will be our constant reminder of the joy you have brought to our lives.

Oh my sweet son, please know you will never be forgotten. Our hearts will always bare the scars of losing you. I’m sending you hugs and kisses.... I so wish I could deliver them to you myself, but that will have to wait for someday.

I love you Samuel, so very much. I miss you and can’t wait to finally hold you in my arms.

All my Love,

Your Momma